Kamila Kaminska Reg. MBACP Counselling in Newbury & Maidenhead Individuals - Parents - Couples

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From shattered dreams to restoring hope


Individuals & Couples Counselling for Newbury, Hungerford & Maidenhead

Are you finding life difficult at the moment?
Is your relationship going through rocky times?

I may be able to help.
Call me on 0749 887 3552


Welcome. Kamila counselling Newbury

Hello and warm welcome. I am a qualified, BACP registered counsellor working with a great variety of individuals and couples. My counselling practice is based in Newbury, near Thatcham and Hungerford, and in Maidenhead. I also provide online counselling.

Whether you are seeking support for yourself or your relationship, I believe it is worth talking about it. I hope this website can help you to get a sense if I may be a good fit for what you are looking for.

You can contact me in a way that feels most comfortable to you: whether it is dropping me an email or having a chat over the phone to see if counselling is what you need at this time.


I work with couples and individuals who want to heal past hurts and gain clarity about what is going on for them. We can find ways for you to develop healthy coping strategies. We will draw on your strengths to rebuild some areas of your life or relationship.


Welcome. Library Image: Footsteps in Sand

Couples counselling - what to expect?

Below you can read a general guide to couples counselling. This format changes as needed for issues such as trauma, affairs and other significant relationship events.

Some couples want homework assessments to supplement in-session work. For those that do, I recommend an excellent book: “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson. It follows the stages of therapy described below with weekly exercises.

Couples counselling takes on average 12-20 sessions, depending on the level of couple distress, and commitment to the relationship and counselling itself.

Please be aware that recovering from an affair or when there is a history of trauma is a complex process and usually takes at least a year.


Assessment

When we meet for the first time, I will invite you to talk about what you would like to resolve or work on in therapy as a couple. If we all agree to continue, I will then meet you and your partner for individual sessions, to learn more about each of you as an individual.

Then the three of us will meet together again and I will offer you my feedback on whether couples therapy is your best option, and if it is we will come up with a plan for our work together. Sometimes, we may arrange additional individual sessions, but this does not happen often.

You can treat the stages described below as a map, which will help to identify where you are getting stuck as a couple and how to move forward.


Stage 1 We Are Caught in a Trap

The first stage of couples counselling lays a foundation for a deeper, lasting change in the relationship. The aim here is to help you de-escalate the conflict, tensions or intensity of arguments between you and your partner, so you can start having different, more connected conversations about the issues that brought you to therapy.

The main points of this stage are:

  • Understanding your own unique arguing cycle
  • Recognising moments of attacking, blaming and defending
  • Indentifying who pursues ↔ who withdraws
  • Finding the softer emotions that are rarely felt, much less shown
  • Calming the arguing cycle, coming closer

  • This stage requires regular, weekly sessions for the best results.


    Welcome. SueJohnson

    Stage 2 Knowing Me, Knowing You – There is Something We Can Do

    When you and your partner feel more able and safer to reconnect, you start to be more accessible, responsive and engaged with each other. You start reaching out for each other in new ways. This is how lasting change happens, so you will not be caught in the trap of an escalating conflict again.


    At this stage we will be focusing on understanding the more withdrawing partner and the more pursuing partner. The main points here are recognising your own fear and needs and how to reach out to each other in new ways to deal with the problem that brought you to therapy.

    This stage can be done with weekly or fortnightly sessions.


    Welcome. Library Image: Happy Couple

    Stage 3 Facing the Future Together

    The work is almost done! At this point of your journey, both of you can feel safe, engaged and trusting each other. Old issues are dealt with, or you are confident that you can rely on each other to resolve them. Once again you are looking into the future together.

    This stage focuses on:

  • Continuing to open up to each other
  • Dealing with missteps as they happen
  • Tackling problematic issues as a team

  • This stage is usually very brief and fortnight sessions are recommended.


    I hope this brief guide to couples therapy answered some of the questions you may have about the process. Please remember this is a guide only - the journey and final destination are yours!
    I am always happy to discuss any questions, issues and concerns you may have about your therapy with me.

    (The guide is an edited version of the couples counselling overview from Couples Zone.)


    Are you looking for a couples therapist in Newbury or Maidenhead? I am a qualified counsellor for couples and individuals. You can contact me here.

    To find this website easily next time, try searching for 'counsellor in Newbury', 'couples therapist in Newbury' or 'counselling in Maidenhead'.


    Counselling for couples and individuals in West Berkshire and North Hampshire. Therapist for Newbury, Hungerford, Thatcham, Basingstoke, Marlborough, Andover, Maidenhead and surroundings.


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